Codependency Healing

Healing Codependency: A Spiritual Journey to Our Higher Self

My Unique Theory for Healing Codependency

Over the years I have developed my own theory of healing codependency and have written a very comprehensive and holistic book delineating my approach to healing these destructive and debilitating patterns.

It includes many of the concepts already in existence in the body of knowledge about codependency but also differs in many ways.

My working definition of codependency is as follows:

Codependency is a pattern of dysfunctional and maladaptive behaviors that affect people at various levels:

1) Our relationship with ourselves, which affects our (a) self-identity and (b) our self-esteem;

2) Our relationships with others; and

3) Our ability to self-actualize, i.e. to reach our fullest potential in life in order to attain our personal growth, goals, and ambitions.

How do you know if you have codependency issues?

We all have codependency issues to some degree.

Here are some of the symptoms of codependency: (the more of them you identify with, the greater your codependency issues)

Unstable sense of self
Unsatisfying interpersonal relationships
Poor self-care or self-neglect
Low self-esteem
Low self-confidence
External locust of control (making decisions based on external approval or coercion)
High sensitivity to other people’s opinions
Rejection or abandonment issues
Lack of assertiveness
Fear of conflict
Inability to set boundaries and limits in relationships
Shame
Excessive guilt, especially for taking care of yourself or saying no

People pleasing behaviors
Inability to say no
Use of indirect methods of communication to try to get what you want and need in relationships, i.e. guilt, manipulation, passive aggressive behaviors
Frequently falling prey to other people’s passive aggressive or manipulative behaviors
Feeling like a doormat in relationships
Insecurities or inferiority issues
Need of constant validation in relationships
Have a hard time letting go of anger or hurt
Often feel that your relationships are unequal, like you give more than you get
Have a lot of resentments toward the people in your life that you have been unable to express, resolve, and/or let go of
Feeling like you have to earn people’s love or attention
Excessive caretaking in relationships, or doing for others (for the reason stated above)

Codependency: A Deep, Inner, Spiritual Journey

Core tenets of my codependency theory:

It is a deeply spiritual journey, leading us to the discovery of and connection with our divine inner self, our Higher Self.
It affects all aspects of life and requires a holistic approach
The connection with higher self is absolutely necessary to achieve true, permanent change and healing
Healing codependency enables us to thrive and reach our highest potential in life.

Who is Higher Self?

Higher Self is our spirit self, or our soul. In its true nature, Higher Self is pure, whole, and supernatural. It is absolute light, absolute power, absolute joy, absolute freedom, absolute strength, and absolute unadulterated love.

Higher Self is both our potential and our truest reality. We possess the fullness of Higher Self within us, even whilst we are still in the process of fully becoming and embodying its qualities.

Higher Self is formless and nonphysical, yet ever more real than our physical human self.

Higher Self remains mostly dormant and unconscious until awakened. Once awakened, its goal is to fully express itself, its destiny, and its mission through our earthly human life.

Higher self learns as we learn; it evolves as we evolve.

It infuses life and power into our human life and, once awakened, enabling profound and complete inner healing.

The purpose of Higher Self is to align with our human (lower) self, allowing divine light and purpose to flow through our lives.

The ultimate purpose of all of this is to reach Enlightenment.