Once you’ve accepted the journey of healing and personal growth, everything from that point on transpires through a process. Humans have a very hard time with process. They want everything yesterday afternoon, with as little effort as possible. With the amazing advances in technology, much of human life unfolds and progresses at an unprecedented level of expediency. Unfortunately, this is not the case with the things that pertain to our psychological and spiritual growth and evolution.

In fact, healing and change are, and will forever be, a process. I understand how hard it is to accept this reality firsthand. It was quite difficult for me and caused me great frustration in the early years of my healing journey. Once I started, I hoped in the back of my mind — and often at the forefront – that there was a destination in the near-future that I was working toward, a point where I would be done with all the inner work and my life could truly begin.

Boy was I in for a rude awakening! Seeing me grapple with this concept, my therapist at the time used to say something that would sincerely piss me off: “Nani, we never arrive.” I would always nod in assent, but secretly I wanted to punch her. I somehow believed I was the exception to the rule and sought to prove just that. It makes me chuckle now to remember how stubbornly I held on to that notion.  

Almost twenty-two years later, I can tell you that I still haven’t found that destination point. It no longer frustrates me, though, because I have stopped trying to arrive. Furthermore, I now understand what my therapist was telling me. It’s not that we will forever live in pain and the struggle of change. It just means that we will never be done learning, growing, or needing to evolve. That’s because, in life, there is always another level; it always gets deeper; it always gets higher.

I hated process because I was in pain, and I wanted my pain to go away. I didn’t realize though that it was process that would eventually take the pain away. I am always amazed at how deeply wounded we can get as humans, at how much baggage we can accumulate, and how many layers there are to reprogram. This is why healing is a complex thing that requires a holistic approach.

For me, healing has to happen at three levels. First, it has to happen at the level of our neurology. That is, pertaining to our neurological pathways and brain structures, some of which have been in place for many, many years and overlap with many other concepts. I equate this part of healing to untangling hundreds of strands of Christmas lights that have become intertwined. Reprograming our mind is a painstaking and gradual process, but it is absolutely life changing. It is also a requirement if we are to live our potential. Sadly, few people do this to the level that will truly free them and change their lives.

The second aspect of healing has to do with the energetic, or spiritual, component. This is the need to awaken to and connect with our soul, which I discussed in my prior blog article, “The Second Tenet of Inner Healing: Nurture Your Spirit.” Thus, I won’t burden you with additional information.

 The third aspect of healing has to do with the changing and developing of habits and patterns that will essentially create a new lifestyle. Permanent change entails truly changing our lives. This pertains to everything discussed in the first section, but specifically to the ability to create new structures, patterns, and habits that will enable us to do so. I will discuss this in depth in my fourth article on the tenets of inner healing.

Whether we are trying to heal our mental health, become physically fit, lose weight, or become financially healthy, none of that will happen permanently unless we adopt a holistic approach. Anyone can do something for a few weeks or months, but if they haven’t made the neurological, energetic, and lifestyle changes required to sustain the change, they will always revert to the old patterns.  

As I stated in my article on the first tenet of inner healing, if we want to change permanently, we must want that change with our whole heart. I won’t sugar coat anything here; healing will also require major changes in our lives. It will require that we change the ways we think, perceive, and interpret reality. It will require that we change how we use our time and what we do from moment-to-moment in our day-to-day lives. It will require that we begin to love ourselves, because without self-love we are missing something fundamental to change and healing. And it will require a lot of patience and an equal share of grit.

But it will also happen gradually. Believe it or not, pressure is not a necessary aspect of the journey of healing and change. Actually, through the journey we must learn to eliminate that pressure and anxiety, which come from being in a hurry to get to a certain point or place in our lives. Once you have taken the first step and are honestly willing to take the next ones, the process itself will guide you. Indeed, one of your greatest impediments will be your need to speed up or judge your process. If you can trust it and just keep going, you will get there. Promise.

There is an old Chinese saying that states, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” What is that one step. The desire to change. The realization of the need to change, to be part of the solution in your life, your family, and your world. When the student becomes ready, the teachers appear. The journey beckons you. Will you take it on? I cannot promise it will be easy, and I cannot tell you what it will be like. But I can promise it will be powerful. And I can tell you that it is necessary. So, my advice, don’t’ wait. Start now.

Namaste <3